Strikes and Counterstrikes
by Tifa Cresent
Summary: Tifa is devastated as evidences of her husband's death was being spewn out in her face. Rufus took on to comfort her, only to discover that he was a part of the treacherous plot. Will she ever get a closure of this tragedy? or will she be forced to live the rest of her life in misery.
1. Chapter 1

The Day After

Morning at the Shinra Institution, Tifa awoke from her sleep and tried to sit up from the bed. Unconsciously, she looked at their wedding photo that was situated by the table beside a pastel colored lampshade.

"You'll come back, you promised"

She unknowingly talked to the picture as if Sephiroth could answer. She took the frame and inspected it; she smiled at the memory of it, how surreal it was that day. How Sephiroth looked at her tenderly as if they were the only people that time.

She laughed a bit when she recalled how Sephiroth was tongue-tied to say his vows, all the attendees were immersing at the humor of it, Sephiroth quickly recovered without even realizing the blush that painted his cheeks.

" _All is well"_ she whispered in his ear at the reception. Sephiroth retaliated by capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

" _I thought I was gonna flip out my stomach, that was so embarrassing, thank you for saving me back there"_ he said.

Then Tifa recalled the fight they had before he had gone out on his dangerous mission to Wutai.

" _Why wasn't I invited at the meeting?"_ She spat as she stormed out in their room after the General's meeting. Sephiroth followed suit.

" _They should have informed me otherwise I'm still a renowned battle tactics specialist"_ Tifa added her voice laced with seething anger and frustration.

" _Tifa let me explain,"_ Sephiroth started, he would always have the calmest of mind in their relationship. In a stern voice he said " _I did, I was the one who bargained to Shinra to not include you in this mission I cannot afford to let anything happen to you"_ Tifa was not listening and Sephiroth knew that.

" _You need to be here when I come home, promise me that"_ he said in a gentler voice this time.

" _So you're saying that I married you to keep me safe? Seph I'm a soldier too it's an occupational hazard to die in my job!"_ she quipped still fuming with anger.

" _That's what I don't want!"_ Sephiroth said losing his calm after he heard her say "occupational hazard" Tifa looked at him as tears starts to accumulate in her eyes, Sephiroth was looking dead straight at her that she could almost make out tears from his eyes.

" _That's what I don't want"_ he repeated as he slowly advanced toward her. Sephiroth reached her ran his hands in her shoulders in an attempt of an apology for shouting at her _;_ she closed her eyes tight as the tears flowed freely through her cheeks. She still couldn't see his purpose so she said,

" _This is just another way of degrading me and my ability as a soldier, belittling me because I'm a woman is that it?"_ She said looking blankly out the window.

" _No, no_ " Sephiroth said " _it's nothing close to that_ " as he took her face to look at him.

" _Then what is it?"_ she said in a whisper as she asked eager for an answer.

Sephiroth could only show the calm on his face, as he desperately searched for an answer, for the first time he could not formulate one, being the General that he is, this is one thing he could not easily solve. Tifa took to rest her head at his chest, she wrapped her arms in his neck as she sobbed openly. Sephiroth hold her close and soothed her back. He closed his eyes as he could hear her cries, and he let her. She knew that this impending war was going to happen, Sephiroth had gone out to many difficult missions before, but this time, this, was different. She was preparing herself to do her job when the boiling war between the Wutai Government and Shinra Corporation broke out, reactors were bombed, soldier camps were invaded and raided, hostages were taken and tortured for information. There was one time that week when they hacked into their system and broadcast a live torturing of a young first class soldier, everyone witnessed it including his family, all they could only do was watch helplessly as nails, and knives went through his body, he was electrocuted and spat on, his cries of pain embedded in the minds of those who watched through the end. Seeing that they could not get anything, someone from their group grabbed a sword and sliced his head off. At the end they were laughing manically as they tossed his head around. That was just a grueling taste of how this war was going to commence.

She was not prepared when she found out that they already strategized the plan without her knowing. She was not prepared for Sephiroth to leave like this. That fuelled her anger and learned to despise everyone who agreed to this plan, including Rufus.

But after all she was the one who said the inevitability to lose one's life in this dangerous job so she formulated a resolve to Sephiroth.

" _Okay I will stay, but promise me this, you will come back safe and sound you hear me?"_

" _I promise"_

" _And that…that you will call me every 10 am in the morning because you know I don't wake up that early"_

" _Okay…" he laughed "I will"_ he said reassuringly.

She could never take being mad at him for long not like this, not when he is doing his job. He grew up here; at such a young age, he had learned in many ways, mostly in hard ones, how a soldier's life must be. To everyone that knew him, he was incapable of having to love anyone other than himself. He was feared, he was praised. Put on a pedestal as if for display.

Sephiroth the Guardian of Shinra, the only person seemed untouchable.

To his friends he has closed ties to even say that it was sometimes impossible for them to understand his being. It took them a very long time to partially comprehend and accept him for he really was. No one completely understood, no one dared to say the real things to him.

He was sometimes associated with the word 'Perfect' yes he was, perfect in stature and build, and in his flawless records in Soldier. Before, he was greatly renowned for having a wit mind and sharp tongue, but only because of his reputation for being merciless in battle, excellent battle strategies that couldn't be compromised was embedded in his forehead, but maybe because he is just misunderstood.

She thought bitterly if she could have known him when they were young, she could have been there to tell him the things he needed to hear. Things like encouragement and understanding; he could have been a lot happier and content.

'But I guess it was actually destiny that lead us to each other' she thought.

By then when they were married she had let him see many incredible things life could offer, yes he was the man who had his hands stained with blood of countless Wutai enemies and many others. But seeing him in his most vulnerable times, in which she herself could not even think he has, reminded her that he was still human. That even the untouchable ones had fallen from grace once, just like any one of us. These times she would not dare say to anyone even her own father. She could not let them know about this.

The sensual, passionate nights they shared together were indescribable, some nights he would be just like an animal fighting over patriarch dominance, the rebel that she was she would sometimes take charge and take turn in dominating him. This gives her some kind of ego boost surge through her. The way his lips tasted, the sweet musky smell of his skin that frayed her senses, his muscles tense at every soft kisses she gave him satiated her lust of him. Sephiroth's guttural growl emanated from his throat when she straddles him and the way he slumps back after climaxing into her in short breaths.

There were rough times, she would just glare him as if to bore holes into his being. She thrashed and called names when there were women who associate themselves with him but with no evidence whatsoever. She would cry for hours, sometimes not even talk to him at some point. But then she always remembers her father's words when she came to Nebelhiem to clear her mind.

"The course of true love has never been smooth" he said.

That made an astounding wake up call for her. That very day she went back to Midgar, strolled into his office and relieved that he was alone reading a report. Seeing her in his office at this time gave him a surprised look. She went over to him and kissed him passionately. She cried and sobbed as she apologized for being selfish, for being so stupid. He held her lovingly in his arms as she clung to him like a child to a father.

They said their apologies to each other and all was forgotten.

Back to their moments of laughter, Sephiroth took on a serious note " _There's something I need to tell you"_

" _What is it?"_

" _Stay away from Shinra or anyone associated with him, I didn't expect him to agree easily with me, anything he say's do not believe him"_

" _Like I'm gonna believe him"_ she said teasingly.

" _I'm serious, Okay? Look this is my serious face see?"_ making a serious look on his face, Tifa only laughed at his attempt to humor her, he just had this dry sense of humor. Then they laughed again.

Tifa was now at the kitchen making breakfast, she took out two eggs, mushrooms and cheese from the fridge. She parboiled the eggs and prepared the rest of her breakfast. It was still 5 am when she woke up, an oddly early time for her. The sun was starting to shine through their apartment, illuminating the rest of it by the soft neutral paint of the walls. The kitchen was filled with the smell of fresh brewed coffee and sizzling bacon. She became a breakfast person when she married Sephiroth, although she always sleep in, he would gently call her name to wake her up. Breakfast was a big part of Seph's life. This was his power meal of the day. So from then on she would wake up when he wakes up, help prepare breakfast and see him off to work.

She silently ate her breakfast alone, as she sweeps her phone with emails. There was nothing interesting to look at; some of them were just spams. If Sephiroth was there, he would have taken her phone out. He never really liked it when she was fumbling with her phone while they eating especially in the morning.

She painted a smile on her face as she was recalling their childish rants together. Chasing each other in their apartment was just too cute to avoid.

After breakfast she went on and cleaned up the table, washed the dishes and did some little cleaning up around the apartment. She was about to take the vacuum out of the closet when she heard the doorbell rang. She went to answer it and was not utterly surprised to see a first class soldier standing outside.

"Miss Lockheart, your presence is requested by the Councilors, I will be the one to escort you there" he said as though it were a recorded message.

She was a little reluctant because she was waiting for a call from her husband at 10 am, it was still 8:45 that morning. It had only been yesterday since Sephiroth left. But since it was the councilors who needed to see her, she figured that maybe they are considering her to have a part in the war. That way she could be with her husband maybe not entirely with her but she will also be there to help decrease and eliminate the war.

"Of course, I will be out shortly" she said as she still needed to change clothes as well. She can't go out in her pajamas. She didn't take much time in changing. Tifa took out her card key and purse, and they were on their way. They went to the nearest elevator but she became uneasy. The soldier noticed it and asked.

"What is it Ma'am?"

"Oh it's okay I just forgot my phone" she spared a small smile at him.

" Do you want to go back and take it?"

"No its okay I don't mind, It's in my room"

It took them five minutes in the elevator due to the vastness of the Shinra Buildings. The elevator is a multi-directed carrier that lets the soldiers and staff travel faster and safer. It was also secured with cameras and emergency latches to heighten the security and safety further. When they arrived at Sector 5, they trailed a long hallway that took them 5 minutes to navigate.

They arrived through a hallway that was lined up with numerous soldiers all the way through a door.

One of the soldiers standing in the doorway opened the door for her. She gave a small nod in response.

Inside there were council officials, a few elite branches of SOLDIER, the two generals, Genesis and Angeal, and President Shinra and son Rufus.

They had this somber, dismayed look in their faces when she arrived, or she just made it up. Rufus stood up and went to greet her, sparing a small haunted smile at her.

"Tifa there is something you need to see," he started, " This clip was taken today at the outskirts of Wutai, 50 miles away from the capital where Sephiroth and his troops were situated."

Tifa didn't say a word as she was anticipating what he would say next.

Rufus took the remote and raised it to the monitor.

The first part of the video were very warped due to the unsteady hold of the camera, there were inaudible shouts of commands, deafening sounds of countless bombs going off. The steady array of bullets raining from every direction, the camera man stumbles but managed to get back on his feet. He ran and took cover from a pile of rocks. From there the could see Sephiroth fending his enemies away with a mere swipe of his seven foot katana, he easily dodge the bullets that were aimed at him, credited by his hyped sense of his surroundings due to his mako-enhanced body. Even though the clip was not that of good quality, they could all make-out the sheer fire that held the General's eyes, his intimidating presence is enough to fend the enemies back.

It wasn't that long when a sound of what would be a missile, could be heard from the background. The camera filmed the missile, it was a thermal missile considering the distinct red streaks from it, Tifa widened her eyes in horror but she remained silent, Sephiroth saw what it was and immediately darted into the air in an attempt to stray the bomb away from the rest of his troops, by this time his single black wing appeared, indicating something that he is pushed to his partial limitation.

She walked closer to the monitor as if too see more vividly.

The bomb followed him wherever he went; he struggled to find a crashing spot for the bomb to go off and at the same time away from his troops.

The camera could not keep up with both the speed of Sephiroth and the trailing bomb. Sephiroth flew to a nearby cliff that leads to a steep, rocky coast. There was a tower of rock besides a small gathering of trees, he guided the bomb through it using himself as a decoy, it was a dangerous risk of course but he had to do it. The bomb followed him, he had just enough time to change his course of direction the and bomb went off, but then another bomb was released milliseconds after the first bomb, it was just after he changed direction, with no absolutely time left to fend away, he used his wing as a shield, the second bomb exploded.

The camera man was utterly in shock.

"Oh my God, oh, oh my God!" he could be heard saying.

His camera focused on the ruble far away, trying hard to get a better view. They could hear his heavy breathing and panic could be heard from his voice.

But then another barrage of bullets rained in his direction, from now he was rescued by two other soldiers, they fired at the opponent and he pointed his camera down, ending the video.

Tifa went to nearby table to support herself; it was unclear if whether Sephiroth could still be able to survive.

"The camera didn't catch everything, He is still out there. You need to find and rescue him" she said in a calm and pleading tone.

"Tifa there are evidences that he may have not survived," Tseng said as he switched on the monitor again, he displayed a couple of pictures from the site where the General was.

Tifa watched in disbelief, there were not yet tears from her eyes as she herself could not bring to accept this tragic event.

They took a picture of what would be Sephiroth's wing or what might be bits of it, blood splatters and a few singed silver hairs.

She swallowed, as her hands trembled. Voices of the people around her were muffled, inaudible sounds. Tears weren't there she thought oddly. Tifa stared down at the table she was in as if she could find the answer from it. Then she thought of her phone. Sephiroth was going to call her soon! She looked up from the table to a clock monitor.

She can still make it to their apartment, Sephiroth would call her, with renewed vigor, but still lingered with dread she helped herself out of the room running.

A few of the officials called out, but Rufus told them to let her go for now. He could understand the rage and grief Tifa was feeling right now.

Tifa ran to the nearest elevator and punched her floor number. The way back felt like a thousand years as she could not wait to hear from Sephiroth. To reassure her that he was safe and sound.

Tifa hurriedly got out as soon as the elevator doors opened before her. She stuck out her card key, went past the living room to their bedroom and grabbed her phone that was on the bedside table.

She waited, there was still two minutes or so, she bit her lip, and was breathing fast.

Five minutes past, still there was no call from her husband.

She breathed hard, clutched her phone in her hands as if someone might take it away from her. He should call, he should, Sephiroth promised her.

Tifa kneeled down on the soft carpet, still staring at her phone, it was a surprise how can one single gadget could engulf her whole being, especially when you are waiting desperately for someone to call.

Then realization hit her like a million needles through her heart, she couldn't bear to say it. Sephiroth is gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Along an empty hallway to their room, a deafening sound of silence could be heard, through a cream colored doorway, laid out a figure lying on bed staring blankly at the ceiling.

Soft shudders of her breath could be felt throughout the room, her crimson eyes sore from the tears that they shed and there had been eye bags circling her features.

Emptiness, that's what she felt, a deep gnashing pain sears to all of her being. She could not arrange in her own the words to describe the pain that she felt at that moment. All she could feel was the sense of being alone again, for so long she had been alone, and now she was being left again.

Her cell phone was left in the confines of the soft carpet below, she had long abandoned it, for a call she was expecting never made its way.

She slowly tuned her head towards the giant window to her left, the rain was pouring vigorously outside, as if voluntarily joining her in her sorrow, the wind chorused their howling in pain and window sills vibrate in response.

'How odd even nature is mourning' she thought.

She reached out her hand on the other side of the bed where Sephiroth lay, hopelessly searching for warm skin and heartbeat to catch her prodding hands but all she received was the cold sheets and hollow air.

She closed her eyes painfully, she was utterly exhausted.

And then she recalled the video, the grueling pictures of blood and bits of feathers.

Her face soured at the images of it, she gathered herself into a ball as fresh tears crept its way out of her eyes down below her temples and soaked through the sheets. Her unheard cries were once again the only sound that could be heard throughout the empty apartment. She couldn't care much of her well-being right now; her hunger could only be fed with her sorrow, her thirst only the tears she shed could quench. It wasn't long until sleep claimed her, tired from the world, tired from her life. She was too exerted to even pull the sheets around her. She didn't need it, she needed him.

*Ring*

Tifa slowly opened her eyes to the humming sound of her phone. She unclenched her hands she held close to her neck and slowly got up and reached down to her phone.

*Zack calling* it said

She flipped the lock on and slowly held it to her ear.

"Tifa?"

Silence.

"Tifa…can I come in?

Tears stung her eyes once again, and she held her hands to her mouth in an attempt to rid the sobs but to no avail. Zack could hear her sobs on the phone although it was muffled a bit.

"Please open the door" he said hurt lacing his voice.

"I'll be right there" She answered, there is no point in driving anyone away right now especially him.

She quickly rose to her feet and went on to open the door, with almost the speed of lightning Zack held his sister in his arms, as soon as she felt him, she immediately broke down into crumbles. All her pains and hurt her longing and anger towards almost anything she let out in that moment. Zack being the only family she had left and so dearly loved, held her tight, never letting go reassuring the safety and comfort in his arms.

It must have been an eternity before I stopped crying in my brother's arms, I was still very much in pain and the dreadful sense of emptiness inside was still there but despite that, was a sense of relief. He was at the war with Sephiroth, I was still lucky to have him back in one piece. My only brother, the only family I have left was here to console me, to let me know that there is still hope despite of all this chaos and hurt I'm going through.

I was taken to the sofa and he took out the remote to open the television for news.

"I don't want to hear any of that shit right now Zack" I retorted my voice small and contorted.

He understood and set the remote down, bended down to arrange the pillows behind me, leaned in and gave a kiss on the forehead.

" I'll go make some coffee, does a sandwich sounds good?" he said with an understanding look on his face, his usual goofy smile wasn't there, he still had some decency to put aside his cheeky behavior after all.

I looked down and contemplated before answering.

"Yeah I think I'll have some"

He nodded in response and went on to the kitchen to brew coffee and made me some dinner. I looked up to the wall clock above the TV, It was already past 10 pm that time. Well maybe at least it was, I have long since lost consciousness of the time around me ever since I got the news.

It didn't take long for Zack to be back at the living room with a tray of hot brewed coffee, a plate of fresh berries and melon slices and a tuna sandwich.

" Come on eat up, I wouldn't want to let the General know I'm not treating you right"

He sat down beside me and handed me a melon slice on a fork. I gratefully receive it and took a small bite. I could tell that it was juicy but the after taste of my crying drowned my sense of taste. Food has never been this bad for me.

"I can't taste anything…" I whispered as once again tears streamed down my face, ogling a salty taste in my mouth that seemed to aggravate my unappealing appetite.

Zack gave a knowing nod and sighed to himself.

"You have to have something, come on" he urged.

"I can't, I don't want to eat anything" I retorted

"Tifa don't do this to yourself, it has never been your fault. Sephiroth wanted you to be safe that's why he died for you"

" That's the problem Zack! I don't want anyone to die for me especially him!" I exclaimed and quickly standing up.

Suddenly I felt uneasy, the world around me swirled like a spinning top, I quickly ran to the bathroom and retched whatever that was left of the breakfast I ate this morning.

Zack followed me to the bathroom, his face contorted in worry, he didn't ask for anything except;

"Are you pregnant?"

I was still retching in the latrine and wiped my mouth before answering

" I don't know" I simply said

He looked like he still has questions to ask, but just decided to pursed his mouth, keeping the questions he wanted to ask to himself.

The following day I woke up to the smell of bacon, oddly enough I abhorred the smell, which was so unlikely for me since bacon is always present in my breakfast.

I held my breath and raced to the bathroom yet again, and retched. I opened the medicine kit behind the vanity to take some paracetamol when Zack called out from the kitchen.

"Don't take any of those, we are going to the doctor to confirm my suspicion"

I rolled my eyes at the comment, I was undoubtedly cranky, like I have been waiting all this time to hate the world.

Breakfast was fine, toast, butter, bacon, eggs, muffin and orange juice, I'm pretty much quite hungry by now since all I did was retched out anything that I had in my stomach. Zack reveled the moment I started stuffing my face with food because he didn't have to force me to eat, although I left the bacon alone.

Zack insisted that I wear a jacket to go to the doctor. He went crazy when I got out of the bedroom in my tank top, skirt and boots. It was my normal clothes for godsake! Sephiroth even liked it.

In my dismay he got me a leather jacket that came down all the way to my ankles. I got so furious that I went back to my closet and tore up my tank top and skirt, I opted for a sundress instead, with flowers and leaves, the one Zack got for me.

"Better?" I said still red from anger

"Much better, now lets go? You are awfully moody today" he said raising an eyebrow at me, while putting me back on the leather jacket.

I whipped my face at him to retort but then I widened my eyes in horror. It's like I've been waiting all this time to ha eth world.

"You are in your second week of conceiving" The doctor gleefully said to me.

"How is the baby?" Zack asked.

"The baby is quite healthy, but refrain from any strenuous activities, stress is not quite good with having a baby especially in this early stage, maintain a healthy diet and I will be prescribing a dose of vitamins if you can wait."

"Yes please do doctor" Zack said.

I was seriously stomping my foot softly on the carpet laden floor underneath, I recalled my conversation with Zack this morning so I asked.

"Is it common for pregnant women to be so moody all the time? Because if I do this all the time then Zack here would have just have to hire someone else to look after me because I don't think I'll be stopping soon"

" It is quite normal Mrs. Cresent" the doctor calmly said as he adjusted his eyeglasses a small smile plastered on his face in amusement.

"by the third trimester this moody behavior will be gone, by then, morning sickness and irritability at some point will be here, these are indications of the baby growing up inside you, your heart rate will increase dramatically because oxygen supply is needed for two persons now, but fret not, everything is normal you'll be okay." He reassured.

I looked down after hearing the doctor say the " normal things" seriously? My life can't get any normal by now, it won't be the same, what should I do? I just lost my husband in a senseless war. I looked at Zack and then to the doctor.

" here's your prescription Mrs. Cresent, Please feel free to visit me for your appointment anytime" he said handing me a small paper.

"I also want to offer my condolences to you Mrs. Cresent, My son was a soldier deployed in Wutai as well, he was the one who sent me the terrible news, He looks up to him you know, that's why when your brother Zack called me in for an appointment I immediately cancelled all of my morning appointments to see you as a way of saying thanks to your husband for having my son be trained by him, "

"And I know this is not enough to console you on your loss, but if you ever need anything at all, advice, medicine anything at all, don't hesitate" he said in a severely concerned tone. My mind started racing again and I don't know why, Do these people think I needed some kind of charity because I just lost a husband?

"Thank you for your time doc. It's much appreciated" Zack said sensing my annoyance by now.

By then Zack held my hands to help me get up and led me through the door.

We walked out of the hospital in silence, I held my head down to refrain myself from looking into the people that I might encounter. I can't bear to see their sorry looks. News of Sephiroth's death must have reached them by now. Who wouldn't? They lost a hero, an inspiration, an idol. While here I am, pregnant with no father to introduce to my child, I lost my life, my strength, my love.

I didn't even realize then that I collapsed on the cold pavement of the sidewalk.

By the time I woke up I was in the hospital again, Zack was fussing around me the moment I woke up, asking me things like do I feel pain anywhere? Or are you feeling okay?

By then I was trying to get up to get him to stop hovering over me since he was invading my personal space, but instead of helping me sit up he pushed me back again on the protesting bed.

"Jeez Tifa would you stop being a pig head? I just said don't sit up yet". He said clearly pissed off at my attempt to get up.

I gave him a look, the look that I never fail to convey even if I was sick with fever as a child. Those nights though he would steal a handful of the berries set out by my Dad when I got sick. I still couldn't get over that since he would assume I ate those fruits with the help of my almost too willing brother.

I never realized I could be this lethargic of things from the past, although I have never thought of those things ever since I grew up, maybe this was the cause of these "pregnancy hormones" that are wrecking havoc on my body.

The doctor arrived to check on me, probing me here and there, asking me inexplicable questions that almost sound too medical in my opinion. I manage to make up an answer before Zack get a nosebleed.

After quite some time, that very same day I was released. I suffered no head injury at all since Zack had efficiently caught me before I hit my head on the pavement.

Back at my apartment, Zack was busy fixing lunch for both of us, white miso soup, grilled fish an Italian salad and datemaki for desert.

I am in the living room stacking up the magazines Zack raided up to scour up recipes he could make for lunch, I was utterly surprised he immediately started working up with the ingredients. I admit I was greatly impressed, for a glutton like my brother, he only had to read a recipe once and get to work as quickly as possible.

The doorbell rings, and Zack's head immediately snap up to attention even if he was greatly concentrated to his cooking.

"I got it!" I called out.

I opened the door to find Reno. He gave me small painful smile, His blue eyes didn't convey a usual mirth that he possessed every time we see each other.

"Can I come in?" He asked when I didn't move to answer him.

"Oh uhm oh yes of course Reno, Come on in" I answered, and stepped back inside to let him in.

"Want something to drink?" I offered.

"No thank you I won't be staying long"

"Well? What is your business in coming over?" Zack called out stepping out from the kitchen, He was an ironic sight to behold, he had an intimidating front yet he had a frilly pink maid apron in which I could remember having a bow on the back.

"I came here to give you this Tifa" he said procuring a silvery white envelop and handling it out for me.

"Shinra will be giving a ceremony for Sephiroth. Tomorrow at 9 am."

I've always hated attending funerals, everything was gloomy, black and the sickly sweet smell of white funeral flowers in the air appalled me to no end.

I don't have any memories of my mother, rather than she was a hauntingly beautiful, black haired woman with pale complexion, bed-ridden on her room. I was only 3 years old. Zack was the one who cried so much that day, he was already about 10 years old. I didn't cry for my mother because I didn't understood loss then, I only cried because I saw Zack cried.

Zack would sometimes question me if I'd miss Mum.

"I don't know" I would answer. "I don't really remember much about her"

"Do you love Mum?"

"I do" I lied,

In fact I don't really know. Zack looks like Mum, She had the deepest blue eyes and the biggest smile. But having to be questioned these kinds of things made me feel indifferent. Maybe I should have blamed my Dad for raising me like this. He loved me and Zack so much I didn't even realize that I had already lost a parent.

The second one was my father's. He suffered a cardiac arrest while driving to work, in his pain, he tried to set the brakes to pull over, but couldn't, his car flew through the road rails through a deep ravine below.

I was at school in 7th grade when the principal called me, my teacher volunteered to accompany me to her office, there for the first time, I understood then, the pain that Zack and Dad went through when my mother passed away. My teacher offered to drive me. I cried all the way home.

I find myself staring at my reflection in the mirror, black dress, black shoes and black veil. I did not bother put any makeup on, my eye bags are still visible since it had only been two days, but I don't care anymore.

A knock got me into attention.

"You ready?" Zack asked peeking through the door.

"Yeah, yeah I'll be right there" I said not bothering to look at him, I was still focused on my reflection on the mirror.

I could not recognize myself anymore, despite the visible red eyes from crying, I didn't drastically lost weight. But in my mind I could picture myself a skinny, hollowed woman. I felt so empty, so cold. How I wish I could make the pain go away, even if its just for a little while.

I took one last look on my reflection before I decided to turn away, watching myself in the mirror for a few more minutes does not help in eliminating my pain. I closed my bedroom door and proceeded to living room where Zack was patiently waiting.

He wore his custom-made tux that I begrudgingly ordered for him. He spared me a small smile when he turned to see me.

"Thank you for the wonderful suit Mrs. Cresent"

"Yeah, you're welcome you handsome devil" I said poking him in the side.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to borrow Sephiroth's shoes?" he said pointing to his feet.

"Of course Zack, he would love it if you would wear it, I just kept thinking of the time when Sephiroth told me about you wearing only your army boots all the time, like seriously?"

"What!? He said that?" He said turning red as a tomato.

"Yeah, he said that" I deadpanned.

He just pouted there like a three old. We made our way out by that time. I ran the key card to lock the door and we made our way into an empty elevator. Zack held my hand as we made our way inside.

"You're going to be fine, just know that I'll be always here for you" he said squeezing my hand in reassurance.

I just nodded in response, right now I just don't have the words to tell him how much I am thankful that I still have someone. Right now I need to attend this funeral and hopefully I won't get sick by the time I'll start smelling those awfully sweet white flowers.


End file.
